Source of confusion

I found out the source of the confusion that i was suffering from a few months back.

Good news right.

The source is fear and insecurity lying deep within me. I was not able to see it inside my dark skin as it was hidden deep, real deep. I was only able to find them when they came out from their hole, which had become too small to hold them any more.

Like a kid of an viper they have grown large, huge, vicious. Their bites inflict so much pain. I am already blue from the pain.

It is much simpler to handle physical pain, but the pain within is suffocating. hard and humiliating.

Even after finding the source of my pain i am able to do nothing about it. What can i do. The only thing that is practically possible is to remove the fear and insecurity. But alas it is easier said than done. Life ain't a philosophy book. And it is much tougher to understand it errors and repercussions .

And this time i don't want to just reduce the size of this monster but i want to fight it to death. Either mine or his. But this monster wont dare hurt me again.