Awakening

I was sleeping to long. Too long to even remeber what i was. But thank god for i am now awake. The confusion that surrounded me and the questions that banged my head , now are silent for I am awake. I was too blinded by the colors around me to see the real color of life in its simpleast form. The recent clash of philosphies in my mindset made it possible for me to reopen my mind and look for new things to grasp on. A change was inevitable.



So what did I found when I woke up. I found out that I was living in an state if illusion, a self generated hypnotic state, which made me belive " This is right , My lord". I forgot that I had no control. No freedom over my thoughts and was trapped in a game of Self Approval.



CONTROL: Do we have control over our lives, our future , oour carrer, our apperance. Hell do we have control on ourselves. Or we just live in hypnososis beliving what we want to belive. I think control signifies power. Power that is so elusive than we tend to gain it anyhow. Even if it means telling ourselves" hey see I am in control of everything, I have the Power". I think i was beliving that. And what a mess i created by doing that.

You might think what may have gone wrong. I tell you. When you think you are in control you start to anticipate. Anticipate the outcomes of things to happen. Anticipate people reactions. Hell you try to anticipate the weather.

Nothing wrong with anticipating. But when it doesnt happens the way you thought , It hurts. Does'nt it. have you never felt the sense of failure, of rejection. It was becuase you were not expecting it. You anticipated something else. A better job, A better place, a better comapnion , a better day. Think about it, would something have changed if you would'nt have anticipated it. Yes atlest your reaction to the situation might have changed.



Thus I found myself in despair anticipating things. From now on I will lose all the sense of CONTROL i had. I will let things come as they wish to.

Dont think it will mean that i will not plan. I will take every opportunity that comes my way, But would never anticipate the result.

The sages were smart to say" Do the work, leave the fruit on him".



FREEDOM: Another of my Illusion. True freedom is impossible in this world. Trust me. You may have Potitical freedom, religious freedom, economic freedom. But still you wont be free from your Expectations, your desires. Nice things they are. Desires, always been potrayed as a motivational tool by modern socities and a sin by older ones. What is the reason for that?



The modern socities are carved upon materilism. acquisition of physical wealth. A buisnessmen cant sell a new item if consumers dont have desire for new. This concept entered so deep into our psycic that now we desire more in every thing. In our food, clothes, home, grades, relationships!!!!!. We are not satisfied. we are slaves of our own desires. we lost our peace to it. we work day and night just to acquire more. Is it correct. After all it is a rat race which will never end. So basically we would never be satisfied. After we acquire one thing we would start to work for next. Wow what a motivational statergy. Now relax. I never want to run. I never race. I walk my own pase. That does troubles alot of people, but in the end I stand to enjoy the beauty of the nature , the colors of god, the smell of rain. While most of the public is running. They have their tasks to do. Their race to run. the race that will never end. A race they'll never win.



So did i had freedom or i too was running in the race. The answer is clear . I was . Now I wont.



THE GAME OF MASKS: I'll begin by quoting some lyrics from song Kaminey .

" Jiska bhi chehra khincha,
andar se aur nikala.
masum sa kabutar
naccha to mor nikala"
It was my my method to play the game. Now first I need to tell you about this game. It's a game we all play. Men or women, large or small, whatever weight category. We all play it.

It's the game of approval. Approval by society, by Family, By freinds, by peers. By averyone. We all want to be in the group ,take verybody along. Be the most desirable person to be in our sphere of contacts. Dont we all do this. We wont tell somebody how we feel on the thing he did, beacuse if i do he may not like me. What if i do this what will happen to my reputation. What wil people think. We all play this game.

And generally a lot of people including me, play it wearing masks. Being what they are not. Some time pretending, Sometimes converting themselves to fit the mask. No doubt how much damage it does to your true self. You only realise it when you start looking for your real face,your True self. And find it lost in the dozens of mask you wore for so long that you dont even remember what was the real you. You feel lucky to realy find it. But if you are not able to and you keep searching for it, you go through the stages i went through. (Read the earlier posts you might get an idea)

I had a discussion on wearing masks some long time ago with someone. And i necitiated the use of masks. I was correct, then. Masks are important if you want to win the game. But she was correct when she said" that you become the mask you wear and forget your true self in a period of time." She sounds a lot correct now to me.

Masks are still important if you need to win the game. But at the cost of your true self , your true identity. I am leaving the game now. You guys go ahead and keep playing. Hope you just reatain your self.

And in the end i would include citations: this movie couldnt have come at a better time.
" Instinct" featurin sir Anthony Hopkins and cuba cudding Jr. Saw the movie for the third time yesterday. But he questions werent there earlier. Go ahead its a must watch. cleared atlest my head of the mist inside. The head is clear as ocean on a sunny day now.